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Men, Women & Relationships Matters of friendship, love and marriage. Gender roles in society and matters concerning the sexes.

The Art of Being a Gentleman

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Old Monday, July 24th, 2017   #121
SpearBrave
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Originally Posted by Elizabeth View Post
It is a strain to open some doors and pull out chairs. I guess it depends on the woman. I'm glad most supermarkets have automatic opening doors. There is one small Italian store I'd like to shop more often in but the door is so hard to open. I've given up and passed by the store instead of entering because the door is so hard to open. I just don't have the strength. I'd wait until someone was leaving and then try to wedge my way in. Seriously. And it looks bad straining to hold it open to get in. You'd think the owner doesn't want customers.
Is it me or do I live in some back water area where us men still open doors and pull out chairs for women?

The best is when you see very young boys trying open doors for women. By starting this young it becomes a habit and we do it without thinking.
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Old Tuesday, July 25th, 2017   #122
Sjoerd
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Last month. I was gassing the truck up at a filling station in the city. I was walking up to door to go inside and pay and I noticed some people coming from their vehicles behind me.

First to come was an attractive twenty-something blonde woman. I held the door open as I always have for women. She smugly grinned and said that she doesn't need a man to hold open a door for her and that such gestures are archaic and even considered sexist these days.

I just replied with a wink "I wasn't holding it open for you miss. I'm doing it for the lady behind you."

An elderly woman with a cane made her way through the door and thanked me kindly. The younger woman looked rather offended at what I said and stomped away.

Ah feminism...
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Old Tuesday, July 25th, 2017   #123
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First to come was an attractive twenty-something blonde woman. I held the door open as I always have for women. She smugly grinned and said that she doesn't need a man to hold open a door for her and that such gestures are archaic and even considered sexist these days.

I just replied with a wink "I wasn't holding it open for you miss. I'm doing it for the lady behind you."

An elderly woman with a cane made her way through the door and thanked me kindly. The younger woman looked rather offended at what I said and stomped away.

Ah feminism...
I had something similar happen to me.

Mine was it was a glass door and I was on the inside and woman comes walking up to the door and without thinking I opened the door for and she said " I don't need a man to open any doors for me " in a real smart ass tone. I shut the door real quickly and she ran her face into the door. I just smiled and gave her a nod and walked away.

The sad thing was she was an attractive middle aged woman until she opened her mouth with her snotty attitude, then she became real ugly real fast.
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Old Tuesday, July 25th, 2017   #124
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Norman Pride is noble of speech.Norman Pride is noble of speech.Norman Pride is noble of speech.

Where I live, chivalry and etiquette are rare, especially with the youth, they see it as outdated. Many even lack basic courtesy, like allowing others to exit before they enter somewhere. So seeing boys hold doors for women is a novelty. Both genders may find it awkward. Some women may confuse it with flirting, others with pity because it's usually a gesture for the elderly, like giving up seats on a bus. So if a woman is surprised by such gesture, it's not necessarily a display of bad manners, she might just misinterpret it and not want to feel like an inconvenience or cripple. That's also the attitude of some boys - she's young and able, she can hold her own door, so why should I?
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Old Tuesday, October 17th, 2017   #125
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Wyrd is noble of speech.Wyrd is noble of speech.

Yes, gentlemen are hard to find nowadays. I've noticed a tendency for media to push feminine, homosexual or androgynous images for men while women become masculinized or feminist. Isn't it ironic how feminists are typically unfeminine? It's true there are just as few ladies, but if we all give up old fashioned, courteous behavior, the situation only becomes worse...
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Old Wednesday, October 18th, 2017   #126
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Idis is noble of speech.Idis is noble of speech.

My husband is a gentleman and was always so. However, being a gentleman does not only mean being courteous and respectful towards women, it also means respecting the elderly and frail, opening and holding doors, being polite and displaying some etiquette in general.
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